More Adultery

Did you ever have a topic that grabbed you and wouldn’t let go? Well, here we are, about to tug again at the ribbons wrapping the beguiling package of adultery. Did you ever notice that the root word of adultery is adult? Isn’t it terribly ironic that this activity is as about as far removed from adulthood and adult activities as it can be?

It is doubly ironic in that often the actions are justified as being “between consenting adults.” In reality, most of the time they look more like the actions of consenting 13-year olds. Randy 13-year olds. It is also termed an “affair of the heart” in an attempt to, if not glorify the activities, to at least rationalize them. “Heart” implies a love relationship. And nowhere in the lexicon of love do we find an action that is so contrary to the best interests of both parties, and everyone else who is impacted.

When the ultimate day of reckoning, the inevitable day of reckoning occurs, both parties are invariably damaged. As are the families and friends of both, the associates of both, even curious bystanders. It should be called an affair of the crotch. When the final accounting is made, only the immediate urges of 13-year old hormones were what were involved.

And yes, we will consider the proverbial elephant in the room. In fact he seems to be in the whole county, perhaps the entire mid-state, and even the state. Marriages are damaged, if not destroyed. Families are decimated. Careers are discarded. And entire populations are disgusted with the careless and heedless actions of leaders.

The Apostle John described just such a situation in 1 John 2:16.  “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life....” He offered a tripartite analysis. “The lust of the flesh.” This is the childish attitude of I want it and I want it now. A friend of ours who writes children’s musicals coined a word for this: “Gratifaction.” We can imply “immediate gratifaction.” It is a combination of gratification and satisfaction. And it is urgent. There is no consideration for any one, or any thing else.

In the vacuum cleaner business, we had a term for peoples’ evaluation of their cleaning equipment. “See, hear, feel.” They could see dirt before running over it, and see that it was gone afterwards. They could hear the motor running and feel their dust bag filling up. We had to show them that even though some was picked up, most of the dirt was left behind. Our eyes can be tricked. And the “lust of the eyes” is a perfect example of this. What looks “good” is not always and a lot of times never, good.

The “pride of life, the boastful pride of life” is the most insidious probe of all. If our pride and self appreciation are based upon how we “look” we are fishing in a very shallow pond. Self worth and value are not dependent upon the “eye candy” we sport, whether it is people, position, or power. Integrity of the inner person is what gives true worth and value to anyone and everyone. To ignore or disparage that is a true marker of immaturity and incompetence. Many people discover that way too late.

And look at John’s final analysis: “(All that is in the world) is not from the Father, but is from the world. 17 The world is passing away, and also its lusts;....” True significance does not come from leaning on a failing philosophy. True value in life is presented in the final phrase of the verse. “...but the one who does the will of God lives forever.” For true significance and meaning it is required that we look above the horizon. Fixation on this world will doom us to mediocrity and ultimately destruction. Paul also counsels us to “seek those things which are above.” (Colossians 3:1)

Love is based upon seeking and demanding the best for the other person. That not only includes the specific person, but those who revere and respect the other person. Selfish immaturity seeks “what I want, when I want it” regardless of the consequences, especially when someone else is involved. And the cost is never considered until the time of accounting.

Paul had an interesting comment on this. 1 Corinthians 13:11 sums up the whole chapter on love. “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man (or woman), I put away childish things.”

Living life as an adult, should include an abhorrence and avoidance of adultery. Otherwise we are merely grown children, acting out unbridled passions.