Adultery

When I attended a small, Christian college in the ‘60's we had chapel every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. We complained until we talked to some of the “old timers” and alumni who told us that in the “old days” they had chapel five days a week. Years later, after I left, I listened to a radio program called “Morning Chapel Hour.” And did it revive memories. I had not realized how fortunate we were to get pretty good preaching all through the week. And often we had some great speakers.

One such pastor was most students’ favorite. He was the local pastor of the big Southern Baptist Church which was just down the street. Many of the SBC pastors went by their first names, like Pastor Jerry, or Brother Bobby. I was used to “Reverend McClun” and so on. This preacher went even farther and told us to call him by his name only. So when Billy was going to preach, we were anticipating a real treat. He was funny, and told very good stories to illustrate his points.

The crowd was very ready when he approached the podium one of the days he was scheduled to preach. We expected to be entertained, enlightened, and encouraged. He took the podium, looked out at us for a second or two, (Dramatic pause) and began.

“The seventh commandment says, ‘THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY!’” He ended his pronouncement with a hearty fist slam to the pulpit. “Now I know that most of you guys (700 guys and about 40 girls) think your are exempt from this because you are not married. But a lot of you have girl friends and you are touching and kissing places that you should not touch or kiss. If you don’t have a girl right now, maybe you are looking at pornographic literature. You are committing adultery. Fornication and adultery are both included in this commandment. And those of you who are not yet convicted, if you even look at some of the town girls or the Kilgore Rangerettes and fantasize about them you are too.”

Talk about a wake up call. Many of us had never before considered what Jesus said when He said that to look at a woman with lust was to commit adultery in one’s heart. Brother Billy ended that somewhat wilfull ignorance.

His sermon came to mind as I prepared the lesson for Genesis 2:18-25. There we have the ideal marriage. Boy does our society need to get back to the basics. From business men, to politicians, to entertainers, to ordinary “guys in the street,” we are floundering with how to respond to what almost seems incessant temptation. And many high profile personages all over the landscape have succumbed. And crashed and burned.

Let’s look back to the “drawing board” to see how the prototype was displayed and perhaps find our way out of the morass in which we flounder. First, God brought all of the animals to Adam to name. (We explored this is detail in the lesson: Genesis 2:18-25, Eve. It is posted on my page on FaceBook. Video and text.) Somewhere during the process, Adam became aware of something that God already knew. There were two of everything else, but only one of him. Only then, did God put Adam to sleep and take a rib to fashion a “helper, suitable for him.”

When Adam work up, he expostulated, “This is it!” (League’s Loose Translation) “This is my bone. This is my flesh.”

Then, either he or Moses, under the direction of the Holy Spirit, spelled out the framework of the ideal marriage. (Verse 24) “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”

There are three prongs to this statement. First “a man shall leave his father and mother....” This “leaving” is not an isolation or totally ignoring them. It is a spiritual and emotional separation. The family, and mother in particular, is to assume a lower place in the hierarchy of his esteem. His wife is now the highest priority of anyone or anything on earth. God is first, of course, then the wife. No exceptions.

A good way to summarize it is in the little phrase that occasionally occurs in some wedding ceremonies, “Forsaking all, I choose you.” This leads into the second prong, join. The man is joined to his wife. This is not the “one flesh” part, which comes next. This is a compact or a contract, if you please, between the man and woman that turns them from a couple into a single unit. They are no longer two individuals, but they have become one, a family of two to begin with. King James uses an archaic word that maybe we should revive: “Cleave.” Cleave means to cling together inseparably.

It is like welding two pieces of steel together. A properly done weld cannot be broken. If it is cut apart, some of each piece will remain as part of the other. The marriage agreement, likewise, joins a man and a woman into a single unit, that we call a family. And this points to the final prong of our discussion.

“...and they shall become one flesh.” This is the whoopee! part of marriage, but even more it represents the perfection of the joining process. They are no longer two, but one. Physically, they are joined in body, but more importantly, the unification of their souls and spirits is complete. Brother Billy may have been the one to suggest this picture. He said just as several threads are combined to weave a single tapestry, so the threads of our lives are woven together in the tapestry of our marriages.

The threefold paradigm can be encapsulated in leave, cleave, and weave. And adultery not only violates, it vitiates, destroys all three aspects of marriage. That is why it was forbidden in the seventh commandment. It is bad for everyone.

When we promise to leave or forsake everyone else, that means nobody or no thing can come between us. (Changing from third person to first person here. It is deliberate, Mrs. Cheney.) Entering into an adulterous liaison trashes that promise by replacing the wife with someone else. It hurts me because I have now become a liar, a covenant breaker, and probably several other things. It hurts my bride, because first, I have lied to her, then second I have devalued her. That is something I have no right to do. In fact, I am commanded to build her up. More obedience issues there, it seems.

The second leg that is shattered is the joining. Just like cutting a weld in two damages both pieces, so violating the integrity of my bond with my wife is injurious to both. This is true even if I do not immediately recognize it. Just ask any of the perpetrators who “got caught.” Even if they did not get caught and publically exposed and condemned, they are damaged goods. (Aside: Second marriages fail more often than the initial marriages. You can check out the statistics and save me the trouble of making them up.) Those damages undermine any subsequent relationship.

Adultery is perhaps the most injurious activity that we can pursue out of all the human relationships in which we participate. It hurts the two participants. It hurts the spurned spouse/spouses. It hurts the immediate family–of both. It hurts the extended family. It hurts friends who trusted one or both of the adulterers. It hurts associations or even companies of the violators. It hurts observers who can only wonder how such devastation could be unleashed.

Finally, adultery decimates the one flesh. The spiritual and emotional bonds have been discussed before, but the physical union of man and woman is violated by adding a third participant. Even is the third party is remote and separate. In 1 Corinthians 6:18 Paul points out that all other sins are outside of our body. Immorality is actually taking sin into our own body.

Warning to parents, adult content here: Many people involved in immorality use a condom to avoid taking disease causing bacteria into their body, or transmitting them to another. But the damage from breaking covenant is far worse than STD’s or AIDS. Our suddenly uptight society is exacting a price for these violations. And this is not all bad. The solution, as it appears now, is that we are all willing to paste the violators to the wall and strip them of honor, esteem, and treasure.

The problem is that the same seeds lie in ourselves, and without the deliverance Jesus offered in John 8:11 the relentless train of betrayal will continue. Jesus told the adulterous woman to, “...go and sin no more.” We often dwell on the first phrase, “Neither do I condemn you....” Jesus final words were not an exhortation to try one’s best to avoid sin. It was a promise that He could deliver us from the sin that He just forgave. It is empowering. It is not only possible, it is the normal outcome of believing, receiving, and accepting His offering.

Brother Billy’s sermon is just as cogent and germane today as it was 50 years ago. God did not prohibit things to keep us from enjoying life. Rather He gave us guidance as to how to maximize our enjoyment of life as we live it down here. Leave, cleave, and weave.

As we watch the Olympics we do not see a skier deliberately ski off the side of a cliff. Instead, he follows the path marked by the organizers to achieve fame and glory–and a safe thrill. Why would we “ski off the path for happy marriage,” by deliberately turning over the side of the mountain?

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”